Friday, June 17, 2011

An Unencumbered Heart: The Good, The Bad and the Ugly

An Unencumbered Heart:  The Good, The Bad and the Ugly

Let’s talk about the difference between girls and guys.  That is not quite accurate, let’s talk about the difference between me and guys. 

I have recently been more and more aware of the difference between myself and the male population that surrounds my life.  In normal situations, according to the Hollywood world and the vast amounts of books I read, the girl is suppose to be the naïve, emotional, selfish, and aloof person.  However, if my experience the guys in my life fit that role much better than I.

When did it become offense to a guy to be direct, straight to the point, and honest?  Growing up that is what guys always complained about…the games girls play.  But when we are direct you take it personally and act like a child.  I should not be made to feel bad because I was direct in a situation, and did not waste time with trivialities.  Moreover, I should not be made to feel bad because I am competent, self assured, and confident.  There is nothing that looks worse than for a gentleman to get offended when a woman treats them like a man.  It just makes them look, well, immature and unappealing.

But, that is not to say that women have it right, or that I do for that matter.  I suppose I could just as easily baby them into a conversation of trivialities before I get to the real reason I am calling/texting.  But why waste time and energy that could be directed at something else?  I could be less direct, play the games the say they hate so much, but there really is not a point to that either when the truth will come out eventually. 

In my opinion, and that is all it is, more women should be direct.  The games people play are useless, they cause more drama than it is worth, and they do more damage than good.  So, why not skip the dice roll and just pass go and collect your $200? 

Granted, there is a difference between blunt and rude.  Perhaps I sometimes cross that line, and if I have I sincerely ask for forgiveness.  I have learned that truth and bluntness without grace and love do more damage than good.  This is a lesson I tend to have to re-learn, so I suppose I do not truly learn it.  But I dare say that I have something this politically correct culture has lost.  This culture that values sex over relationship, half truths over reality, and reality TV shows over actual reality of life has lost the incredible beauty of honesty and the immense amount of good, change, and prosperity that can come only from being H.O.T. (honest, open and transparent). 

When we play games with each other instead of being open and honest we close wonderful doors of opportunity, we limit our potential to do amazing things because we are cowards in our own skin.  We must shed the darkness of betrayal to ourselves, the skin we hid our true essence behind and let the new skin of who we really are shine through with the amazing beauty that is our spirit.  Only then can we hope to find the person who does actually match us; only then can we be comfortable in who we are and know exactly what we want.  Let’s stop limiting ourselves and push through to the wonderful path that awaits an unencumbered heart.  


  1. You are a great writer Andria. I really liked this and the message is what so many need to hear! I look forward to the next post and the one after that too!

  2. Thank you Jessica. I look forward to writing them. Hope I can keep up with your standards.